My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i think i have herpe
just one?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
