ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
