I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Randomize
