11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Randomize
