i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
