dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize