my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
