last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
