we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
