WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
