Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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