Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
