I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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