Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
