Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
people are starting to question the shark bite story
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I enjoy the company of your penis
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize