bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
My vagina just recognized that song.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
