Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
