I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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