Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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