I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
