Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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