some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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