I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
