He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize