Need sex. Gaining weight.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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