You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I love you. Go after that dick
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
