All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
