I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
