I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
