Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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