So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
