oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
pray to the hookup gods
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
