you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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