These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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