You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize