I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
