I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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