God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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