1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
