so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
