So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
