the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
