Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
