it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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