Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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