i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
