I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
