if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
