Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
