im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
