Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
