i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
