I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
