didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
