I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
