Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
it's great music for shaving your balls
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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