Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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