Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
