...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
