no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
