I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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