question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
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