I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
